Agile Protocol
“Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum” by Scott M. Graffius Crashes the Book Scene with Satirical Firepower
10 April 2025
BY SCOTT M. GRAFFIUS | ScottGraffius.com
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum by Scott M. Graffius has landed, and it’s an instant cult classic for anyone who’s ever been trapped in an "Agile" meeting that felt more like a hostage negotiation.
Who Needs This Book?
If you've ever:
…then this book is your revenge arc.
What It Is (Besides a Glorious Fever Dream of Value Delivery)
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is a short story of a thrilling satirical adventure that doubles as a covert guide to Agile principles. When a dysfunctional organization threatens to implode under the weight of its own bureaucracy, the elite A.G.I.L.E. crew steps in to save the day—and the business. Wielding Agile principles and AI-powered tools like a KanbanChatterbox and a flashing bar that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns, they navigate everything from the misapplication of Agile to corporate cosplay and an epic rage-quit via helicopter.
Packed with sabotage, sarcasm, and corporate cults, it’s perfect for anyone who’s ever screamed into a backlog and lived to iterate another day.
Why This Book is Sending Shockwaves Through the Agileverse
Whispers of Agile Protocol are spreading through the Internet. Why? Because it does the unthinkable: it’s a fun and brutally candid take on the application (and frequent misapplication) of Agile and other cultural phenomena.
What Makes This Book Unmissable
🔥 A Story-Driven Showdown
When a dysfunctional technology behemoth threatens to implode under the burden of its own "fake Agile" bureaucracy, the elite A.G.I.L.E. crew steps in to save the day—and the enterprise.
🧠 Real Agile, Real Principles
Beneath the humor lies a stealth education in actual Agile principles. Say goodbye to "Agile theater" and hello to servant leadership, retrospectives that lead to change, and MVPs that actually ship.
💥 Transformation May Vary, Explosives Optional
Whether it’s the Weaponized Roadmap, an AI-powered KanbanChatterbox, or an executive offsite so unhinged it was nicknamed DenialFest 3000, this book delivers nonstop, hilarious lessons on Agile transformations.
Praise*
"This is what happens when Agile gets real. And funny. And maybe slightly radioactive."
—Probably Claire, the book’s certified Scrum Master
"A bold, hilarious, and razor-sharp takedown of everything wrong with fake Agile."
—A reviewer who may or may not work in a PMO
"Finally, a book on Agile that doesn’t make me want to schedule a 3-hour alignment sync about it."
—Some guy in a hoodie named Trevor
Join the Movement
This isn’t just a story—it’s a transformation. Teams are quoting it in retros. Leaders are gifting it to their co-workers. Some readers are even forming cults based on Ashley’s accidental retrospective religion (please don’t do that).
Where to Get It
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is available now as a Kindle ebook, with a paperback version incoming. Prefer to listen? An Audible version may be on the way—because who doesn’t want to hear about a Kanban board that trashes your velocity out loud?
Final Thoughts
Scott M. Graffius, Agile practitioner, thought leader, researcher, international speaker, and award-winning author has done the unthinkable. He made Agile entertaining and informative while keeping it smart. Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—his third book, and his first work of fiction—is a satirical thriller that also serves as a practical guide to Agile transformation. It delivers on every level—humor, substance, and sheer narrative velocity. It’s a must-read.
* Caveat: While the book is a work of fiction, it intentionally blends satire with real Agile principles, Scrum practices, and more. Likewise, this satirical post is a mix of imaginary and real.
Related links:
** Don’t have a Kindle device? No problem! You can read Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum (or any Kindle ebook) on your phone, tablet, or computer with the free Kindle app from Amazon. Learn more and get the app here: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp.
*** Don’t have an Audible device? No problem! You can listen to Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum (or any Audible audiobook) on your phone, tablet, or computer with the free Audible app. Learn more and get the app here: https://www.audible.com/apps.
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—real lessons, ridiculous fun
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—for anyone who's screamed into a backlog and lived to iterate another day
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—a satirical drama-comedy (dramady) that doubles as a covert guide to Agile
"Corporate cosplay, the misapplication of Agile, over-scheduled meetings, and more"
— Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
"A flashing bar that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns"
— Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum by Scott M. Graffius is a thrilling satirical adventure that doubles as a covert guide to Agile principles
Whether it’s an AI-powered flashing bar that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns, the Weaponized Roadmap, or an unhinged management retreat where one rage-quit via helicopter, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum by Scott M. Graffius delivers nonstop, hilarious lessons on Agile transformations
Read on for:
Book Categories for Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
Agile Protocol is a unique hybrid—a satirical fiction story that also serves as a covert guide to Agile. It’s a mashup of corporate humor, workplace chaos, and project management parody with genuine Agile values and Scrum practices baked in.
Because of its cross-genre nature, the book is relevant to a wide range of categories. Readers are in for an entertaining and enlightening read whether they're a fan of satirical fiction, business leadership, Agile, or any one of the other categories (see below).
For reference—and to help readers, reviewers, and fellow Agile geeks discover where Agile Protocol fits, here’s a list of categories that align with the book:
Fiction / Satire / Humor Book Categories
Business / Leadership / Management Book Categories
Agile / Project Management / Software Development Book Categories
Niche Book Book Categories
Select Format-Specific Book Categories
About Scott M. Graffius
Scott M. Graffius sparks breakthroughs in AI, agile, and project management/PMO leadership as a globally recognized practitioner, researcher, thought leader, award-winning author, and international public speaker.
Graffius has generated more than USD $1.9 billion in business value for organizations served, including Fortune 500 companies. Businesses and industries range from technology (including R&D and AI) to entertainment, financial services, and healthcare, government, social media, and more.
Graffius leads the professional services firm Exceptional PPM and PMO Solutions, along with its subsidiary Exceptional Agility. These consultancies offer strategic and tactical advisory, training, embedded talent, and consulting services to public, private, and government sectors. They help organizations enhance their capabilities and results in agile, project management, program management, portfolio management, and PMO leadership, supporting innovation and driving competitive advantage. The consultancies confidently back services with a Delighted Client Guarantee™. Graffius is a former vice president of project management with a publicly traded provider of diverse consumer products and services over the Internet. Before that, he ran and supervised the delivery of projects and programs in public and private organizations with businesses ranging from e-commerce to advanced technology products and services, retail, manufacturing, entertainment, and more. He has experience with consumer, business, reseller, government, and international markets.
He is the author of three books.
Prominent businesses, professional associations, government agencies, and universities have featured Graffius and his work including content from his books, talks, workshops, and more. Select examples include:
Graffius has been actively involved with the Project Management Institute (PMI) in the development of professional standards. He was a member of the team which produced the Practice Standard for Work Breakdown Structures—Second Edition. Graffius was a contributor and reviewer of A Guide to the Project Management Body of Knowledge—Sixth Edition, The Standard for Program Management—Fourth Edition, and The Practice Standard for Project Estimating—Second Edition. He was also a subject matter expert reviewer of content for the PMI’s Congress. Beyond the PMI, Graffius also served as a member of the review team for two of the Scrum Alliance’s Global Scrum Gatherings.
Graffius has a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a focus in Human Factors. He holds eight professional certifications:
He is an active member of the Scrum Alliance, the Project Management Institute (PMI), and the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE).
He divides his time between Los Angeles and Paris, France.
Thought Leader | Public Speaker | Agile Protocol Book | Agile Scrum Book | Agile Transformation Book | Blog | Photo | X | LinkedIn | Email
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum by Scott M. Graffius has landed, and it’s an instant cult classic for anyone who’s ever been trapped in an "Agile" meeting that felt more like a hostage negotiation.
Who Needs This Book?
If you've ever:
- Sat through a 90-minute stand-up complete with a PowerPoint deck;
- Heard someone call Jira their Agile process; or
- Witnessed Agile used as an excuse to skip planning, documentation, or logic
…then this book is your revenge arc.
What It Is (Besides a Glorious Fever Dream of Value Delivery)
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is a short story of a thrilling satirical adventure that doubles as a covert guide to Agile principles. When a dysfunctional organization threatens to implode under the weight of its own bureaucracy, the elite A.G.I.L.E. crew steps in to save the day—and the business. Wielding Agile principles and AI-powered tools like a KanbanChatterbox and a flashing bar that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns, they navigate everything from the misapplication of Agile to corporate cosplay and an epic rage-quit via helicopter.
Packed with sabotage, sarcasm, and corporate cults, it’s perfect for anyone who’s ever screamed into a backlog and lived to iterate another day.
Why This Book is Sending Shockwaves Through the Agileverse
Whispers of Agile Protocol are spreading through the Internet. Why? Because it does the unthinkable: it’s a fun and brutally candid take on the application (and frequent misapplication) of Agile and other cultural phenomena.
What Makes This Book Unmissable
🔥 A Story-Driven Showdown
When a dysfunctional technology behemoth threatens to implode under the burden of its own "fake Agile" bureaucracy, the elite A.G.I.L.E. crew steps in to save the day—and the enterprise.
🧠 Real Agile, Real Principles
Beneath the humor lies a stealth education in actual Agile principles. Say goodbye to "Agile theater" and hello to servant leadership, retrospectives that lead to change, and MVPs that actually ship.
💥 Transformation May Vary, Explosives Optional
Whether it’s the Weaponized Roadmap, an AI-powered KanbanChatterbox, or an executive offsite so unhinged it was nicknamed DenialFest 3000, this book delivers nonstop, hilarious lessons on Agile transformations.
Praise*
"This is what happens when Agile gets real. And funny. And maybe slightly radioactive."
—Probably Claire, the book’s certified Scrum Master
"A bold, hilarious, and razor-sharp takedown of everything wrong with fake Agile."
—A reviewer who may or may not work in a PMO
"Finally, a book on Agile that doesn’t make me want to schedule a 3-hour alignment sync about it."
—Some guy in a hoodie named Trevor
Join the Movement
This isn’t just a story—it’s a transformation. Teams are quoting it in retros. Leaders are gifting it to their co-workers. Some readers are even forming cults based on Ashley’s accidental retrospective religion (please don’t do that).
Where to Get It
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is available now as a Kindle ebook, with a paperback version incoming. Prefer to listen? An Audible version may be on the way—because who doesn’t want to hear about a Kanban board that trashes your velocity out loud?
Final Thoughts
Scott M. Graffius, Agile practitioner, thought leader, researcher, international speaker, and award-winning author has done the unthinkable. He made Agile entertaining and informative while keeping it smart. Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—his third book, and his first work of fiction—is a satirical thriller that also serves as a practical guide to Agile transformation. It delivers on every level—humor, substance, and sheer narrative velocity. It’s a must-read.
* Caveat: While the book is a work of fiction, it intentionally blends satire with real Agile principles, Scrum practices, and more. Likewise, this satirical post is a mix of imaginary and real.
Related links:
** Don’t have a Kindle device? No problem! You can read Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum (or any Kindle ebook) on your phone, tablet, or computer with the free Kindle app from Amazon. Learn more and get the app here: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp.
*** Don’t have an Audible device? No problem! You can listen to Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum (or any Audible audiobook) on your phone, tablet, or computer with the free Audible app. Learn more and get the app here: https://www.audible.com/apps.
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—real lessons, ridiculous fun
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—for anyone who's screamed into a backlog and lived to iterate another day
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum—a satirical drama-comedy (dramady) that doubles as a covert guide to Agile
"Corporate cosplay, the misapplication of Agile, over-scheduled meetings, and more"
— Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
"A flashing bar that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns"
— Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum by Scott M. Graffius is a thrilling satirical adventure that doubles as a covert guide to Agile principles
Whether it’s an AI-powered flashing bar that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns, the Weaponized Roadmap, or an unhinged management retreat where one rage-quit via helicopter, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum by Scott M. Graffius delivers nonstop, hilarious lessons on Agile transformations
Read on for:
- Book Categories for Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
- About Scott M. Graffius,
- How to Cite This Article,
- and more.
Book Categories for Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum
Agile Protocol is a unique hybrid—a satirical fiction story that also serves as a covert guide to Agile. It’s a mashup of corporate humor, workplace chaos, and project management parody with genuine Agile values and Scrum practices baked in.
Because of its cross-genre nature, the book is relevant to a wide range of categories. Readers are in for an entertaining and enlightening read whether they're a fan of satirical fiction, business leadership, Agile, or any one of the other categories (see below).
For reference—and to help readers, reviewers, and fellow Agile geeks discover where Agile Protocol fits, here’s a list of categories that align with the book:
Fiction / Satire / Humor Book Categories
- Fiction › Satire
- Fiction › Humorous › General
- Fiction › Workplace
- Fiction › Action & Adventure
- Fiction › Science Fiction › Adventure
- Fiction › Science Fiction › Cyberpunk
- Fiction › Literary Fiction › Humorous
- Humor & Entertainment › Humor › Business & Professional
- Humor & Entertainment › Humor › Parodies
- Science Fiction & Fantasy › Humor
Business / Leadership / Management Book Categories
- Business & Money › Business Life › Humor
- Business & Money › Management & Leadership › Project Management
- Business & Money › Management & Leadership › Leadership & Motivation
- Business & Money › Management & Leadership › Organizational Behavior
- Business & Money › Management & Leadership › Decision-Making & Problem Solving
- Business & Money › Management & Leadership › Workplace Culture
- Business & Money › Skills › Communication
- Business & Money › Industries › Computers & Technology
- Business & Money › Skills › Time Management
- Business & Money › Industries › Management Science
Agile / Project Management / Software Development Book Categories
- Computers & Technology › Software Development › Project Management
- Computers & Technology › Programming › Software Design & Engineering › Software Development
- Computers & Technology › Business Technology › Project Management
- Computers & Technology › Business Technology › Management Information Systems
- Business & Money › Management & Leadership › Agile Project Management
- Computers & Technology › Software Development › Agile
- Computers & Technology › Software Development › Methodologies
Niche Book Book Categories
- Literary Criticism › Satire
- Nonfiction › Business & Economics › Management Science
- Comics & Graphic Novels › Satire
Select Format-Specific Book Categories
- Audible Books & Originals › Comedy
- Kindle eBooks › Literature & Fiction › Humor & Satire
- Books › Literature & Fiction › Satire
About Scott M. Graffius
Scott M. Graffius sparks breakthroughs in AI, agile, and project management/PMO leadership as a globally recognized practitioner, researcher, thought leader, award-winning author, and international public speaker.
Graffius has generated more than USD $1.9 billion in business value for organizations served, including Fortune 500 companies. Businesses and industries range from technology (including R&D and AI) to entertainment, financial services, and healthcare, government, social media, and more.
Graffius leads the professional services firm Exceptional PPM and PMO Solutions, along with its subsidiary Exceptional Agility. These consultancies offer strategic and tactical advisory, training, embedded talent, and consulting services to public, private, and government sectors. They help organizations enhance their capabilities and results in agile, project management, program management, portfolio management, and PMO leadership, supporting innovation and driving competitive advantage. The consultancies confidently back services with a Delighted Client Guarantee™. Graffius is a former vice president of project management with a publicly traded provider of diverse consumer products and services over the Internet. Before that, he ran and supervised the delivery of projects and programs in public and private organizations with businesses ranging from e-commerce to advanced technology products and services, retail, manufacturing, entertainment, and more. He has experience with consumer, business, reseller, government, and international markets.
He is the author of three books.
- Graffius' first book, Agile Scrum: Your Quick Start Guide with Step-by-Step Instructions (paperback ISBN-13: 9781533370242) (Kindle ebook ASIN: B01FZ0JIIY), received 17 awards.
- His second book is Agile Transformation: A Brief Story of How an Entertainment Company Developed New Capabilities and Unlocked Business Agility to Thrive in an Era of Rapid Change (paperback ISBN-13: 9781072447962) (Kindle ebook ASIN: B07R9LJLPJ). BookAuthority named it one of the best Scrum books of all time.
- His third book—his first work of fiction—is Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum (Kindle ebook ASIN: B0F2SJ83WT) (Audible audiobook ASIN: B0DJG163R5). This article shares the news of its release.
Prominent businesses, professional associations, government agencies, and universities have featured Graffius and his work including content from his books, talks, workshops, and more. Select examples include:
- Adobe,
- American Management Association,
- Amsterdam Public Health Research Institute,
- Bayer,
- BMC Software,
- Boston University,
- Broadcom,
- Cisco,
- Coburg University of Applied Sciences and Arts Germany,
- Computer Weekly,
- Constructor University Germany,
- Data Governance Success,
- Deimos Aerospace,
- DevOps Institute,
- EU's European Commission,
- Ford Motor Company,
- GoDaddy,
- Harvard Medical School,
- Hasso Plattner Institute Germany,
- IEEE,
- Innovation Project Management,
- Johns Hopkins University,
- Journal of Neurosurgery,
- Lam Research (Semiconductors),
- Leadership Worthy,
- Life Sciences Trainers and Educators Network,
- London South Bank University,
- Microsoft,
- NASSCOM,
- National Academy of Sciences,
- New Zealand Government,
- Oracle,
- Pinterest Inc.,
- Project Management Institute,
- SANS Institute,
- SBG Neumark Germany,
- Singapore Institute of Technology,
- Torrens University Australia,
- TBS Switzerland,
- Tufts University,
- UC San Diego,
- UK Sports Institute,
- University of Galway Ireland,
- US Department of Energy,
- US National Park Service,
- US Tennis Association,
- Veleučilište u Rijeci Croatia,
- Verizon,
- Virginia Tech,
- Warsaw University of Technology,
- Wrike,
- Yale University,
- and many others.
Graffius has been actively involved with the Project Management Institute (PMI) in the development of professional standards. He was a member of the team which produced the Practice Standard for Work Breakdown Structures—Second Edition. Graffius was a contributor and reviewer of A Guide to the Project Management Body of Knowledge—Sixth Edition, The Standard for Program Management—Fourth Edition, and The Practice Standard for Project Estimating—Second Edition. He was also a subject matter expert reviewer of content for the PMI’s Congress. Beyond the PMI, Graffius also served as a member of the review team for two of the Scrum Alliance’s Global Scrum Gatherings.
Graffius has a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a focus in Human Factors. He holds eight professional certifications:
- Certified SAFe 6 Agilist (SA),
- Certified Scrum Professional - ScrumMaster (CSP-SM),
- Certified Scrum Professional - Product Owner (CSP-PO),
- Certified ScrumMaster (CSM),
- Certified Scrum Product Owner (CSPO),
- Project Management Professional (PMP),
- Lean Six Sigma Green Belt (LSSGB), and
- IT Service Management Foundation (ITIL).
He is an active member of the Scrum Alliance, the Project Management Institute (PMI), and the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE).
He divides his time between Los Angeles and Paris, France.
Thought Leader | Public Speaker | Agile Protocol Book | Agile Scrum Book | Agile Transformation Book | Blog | Photo | X | LinkedIn | Email
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How to Cite This Article
Graffius, Scott M. (2025, April 10). "Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum" by Scott M. Graffius Crashes the Book Scene with Satirical Firepower. Available at: https://scottgraffius.com/blog/files/agile-protocol-the-transformation-ultimatum-by-scott-m-graffius.html. 
Digital Object Identifier (DOI)
DOI: (coming soon)
Content Acknowledgements
All trademarks, product names, and organization names mentioned belong to their respective owners and are used here solely for illustrative purposes. This work has no affiliation, endorsement, or association with these entities.
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is copyright © Scott M. Graffius. All rights reserved.
Top 5 Hashtags
#AgileProtocol
#AgileSatire
#FakeAgile
#AgileFiction
#CorporateAgileCosplay
Copyright
Copyright © Scott M. Graffius. All rights reserved.
Content on this site—including text, images, videos, and data—may not be used for training or input into any artificial intelligence, machine learning, or automatized learning systems, or published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without the express written permission of Scott M. Graffius.
"Agile Protocol" and the Power of Satire, Parody, and Humor
01 June 2025
BY SCOTT M. GRAFFIUS | ScottGraffius.com
Introduction
What’s the best way to expose the dysfunctions of modern Agile transformations (while also showing how to do things right)? A dry white paper? A tedious slide deck? Another soul-crushing meeting? Or a wildly entertaining, high-stakes adventure that doubles as a stealth guide to Agile?
In Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum, the lines between fiction and reality blur—on purpose. This story leans hard into satire, parody, and humor to entertain and unmask very real issues plaguing Agile in the wild. Here’s how the book wields each of these powerful tools.
✅ Satire
Agile Protocol skewers real-world dysfunctions in Agile transformations such as misapplied Agile and resulting mayhem. These aren’t just punchlines; they're incisive critiques of behaviors and mindsets professionals often see but rarely confront.
Through a satirical lens (with humor, exaggerations, and irony), Agile Protocol holds up a mirror to problems like corporate Agile cosplay and asks, "Look familiar?"
✅ Parody
Agile Protocol exaggerates familiar tropes—thriller-style stakes, transformation consultants, and corporate dramas—to expose their absurdity when fused with Agile. The story mirrors real transformations but cranks up the chaos with sabotage, showdowns, and over-the-top executive meltdowns.
This parodic form lampoons both business culture and pop-culture storytelling conventions, making the critique both accessible and memorable. For instance, there’s an AI-powered device that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns—a playful jab at the tool- and metrics-driven madness of many modern transformations.
✅ Humor
From sharp-witted dialogue to absurd workplace scenarios, Agile Protocol delivers laugh-out-loud humor with a purpose. Readers stay hooked because it’s entertaining; they leave with a stealth education in Agile.
Humor acts as a delivery system: laugh first, reflect later. The book’s clever jokes and ridiculous situations make complex ideas digestible—and unforgettable.
Why It Works
In business, "transformation" often feels like an empty buzzword. Satire, parody, and humor pierce the clutter with vivid clarity and a lighter touch. Agile Protocol wields these tools to disarm readers, reveal truths, and make insights stick.
Conclusion
Agile Protocol isn’t just another Agile book. It’s a genre-bending, jargon-busting, laugh-out-loud takedown of everything we get wrong in the name of "change." Call it satire, parody, or ridiculously fun with real insights. Whatever you call it, it lands with impact.
Agile Protocol is a movement—sparking conversations and inspiring teams to laugh, reflect, and transform for the better.
About Agile Protocol
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is a wildly entertaining, high-stakes story that doubles as a stealth guide to Agile!
A tech company threatens to implode under the weight of its misapplication of Agile ("fake Agile"). That's when an elite crew intervenes to execute a daring rescue to save the day—and the business. Along the way, they navigate corporate Agile cosplay, sabotage, unhinged AI, executive meltdowns, an epic rage-quit via helicopter, and more.
Agile Protocol is hilarious satire packed with real insights. Through its wild ride, you’ll gain tools to understand what great Agile leadership looks like, spot and stop "fake Agile," and confidently apply Agile values and principles.
This entertaining and enlightening read is perfect for Scrum Masters, Product Owners, Agile Coaches, Agile Project Managers, Technology Managers, Founders, and others involved or interested in Agile.
Available worldwide as an ebook and audiobook (paperback coming soon). Grab your copy from Amazon or Audible.
If you want to check out the trailer first, it's here.
Bibliography
Graffius, Scott M. (2025). Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum. Seattle, WA: Amazon Digital Services.
More
Continue reading for:
About Scott M. Graffius
Scott M. Graffius is an AI, Agile, and Project Management/PMO leader, researcher, author, and speaker. Along the way, he spearheaded initiatives that have generated over $2.3 billion in impact for organizations across tech, entertainment, finance, healthcare, and beyond. The following sections provide additional information on his experience, contributions, and influence.
Experience
Graffius heads the professional services firm Exceptional PPM and PMO Solutions, along with its subsidiary Exceptional Agility. These consultancies offer strategic and tactical advisory, training, embedded expertise, and consulting services to the public, private, and government sectors. They help organizations enhance their capabilities and results in agile, project management, program management, portfolio management, and PMO leadership, supporting innovation and driving competitive advantage. The consultancies confidently back services with a Delighted Client Guarantee™.
Graffius is a former VP of project management with a publicly traded provider of diverse consumer products and services over the Internet. Before that, he ran and supervised the delivery of projects and programs in public and private organizations with businesses ranging from e-commerce to advanced technology products and services, retail, manufacturing, entertainment, and more.
He has experience with consumer, business, reseller, government, and international markets.
Award-Winning Author
Graffius has authored three books.
International Public Speaker
Organizations worldwide engage Graffius to present on tech (including AI), Agile, project management, program management, portfolio management, and PMO leadership. He crafts and delivers unique and compelling talks and workshops. To date, Graffius has conducted 93 sessions across 25 countries. Select examples of events include Agile Trends Gov, BSides (Newcastle Upon Tyne), Conf42 Quantum Computing, DevDays Europe, DevOps Institute, DevOpsDays (Geneva), Frug’Agile, IEEE, Microsoft, Scottish Summit, Scrum Alliance RSG (Nepal), Techstars, and W Love Games International Video Game Development Conference (Helsinki), and more.
With an average rating of 4.81 (on a scale of 1-5), sessions are highly valued.
The speaker engagement request form is here.
Thought Leadership and Influence
Prominent businesses, professional associations, government agencies, and universities have showcased Graffius and his contributions—spanning his books, talks, workshops, and beyond. Select examples include:
Graffius has played a key role in the Project Management Institute (PMI) in developing professional standards. He was a member of multiple teams that authored, reviewed, and produced:
Additional details are here.
He was also a subject matter expert reviewer of content for the PMI’s Congress. Beyond the PMI, Graffius also served as a member of the review team for two of the Scrum Alliance’s Global Scrum Gatherings.
Acclaimed Authority on Teamwork Tradecraft
Graffius is a renowned authority on teamwork tradecraft. Informed by the research of Bruce W. Tuckman and Mary Ann C. Jensen, over 100 subsequent studies, and Graffius' first-hand professional experience with, and analysis of, team leadership and performance, Graffius created his 'Phases of Team Development' as a unique perspective and visual conveying the five phases of team development. First introduced in 2008 and periodically updated, his work provides a diagnostic and strategic guide for navigating team dynamics. It provides actionable insights for leaders across industries to develop high-performance teams. Its adoption by esteemed organizations such as Yale University, IEEE, Cisco, Microsoft, Ford, Oracle, Broadcom, the U.S. National Park Service, and the Journal of Neurosurgery, among others, highlights its utility and value, solidifying its status as an indispensable resource for elevating team performance and driving organizational excellence.
The 2025 edition of Graffius' "Phases of Team Development" intellectual property is here.
Expert on Temporal Dynamics on Social Media Platforms
Graffius is also an authority on temporal dynamics on social media platforms. His 'Lifespan (Half-Life) of Social Media Posts' research—first published in 2018 and updated annually—delivers a precise quantitative analysis of post longevity across digital platforms, utilizing advanced statistical techniques to determine mean half-life with precision. It establishes a solid empirical base, effectively highlighting the ephemeral nature of content within social media ecosystems. Referenced and applied by leading entities such as the Center for Direct Marketing, Fast Company, GoDaddy, Pinterest Inc., and PNAS, among others, his research exemplifies methodological rigor and sustained significance in the field of digital informatics.
The 2025 edition of Graffius "Lifespan (Half-Life) of Social Media Posts" research is here.
Education and Professional Certifications
Graffius has a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a focus in Human Factors. He holds eight professional certifications:
He is an active member of the Scrum Alliance, the Project Management Institute (PMI), and the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE).
Advancing AI, Agile, and Project/PMO Management
Scott M. Graffius continues to advance the fields of AI, Agile, and Project/PMO Management through his leadership, research, writing, and real-world impact. Businesses and other organizations leverage Graffius’ insights to drive their success.
Thought Leader | Public Speaker | Agile Protocol Book | Agile Scrum Book | Agile Transformation Book | Blog | Photo | X | LinkedIn | Email
Introduction
What’s the best way to expose the dysfunctions of modern Agile transformations (while also showing how to do things right)? A dry white paper? A tedious slide deck? Another soul-crushing meeting? Or a wildly entertaining, high-stakes adventure that doubles as a stealth guide to Agile?
In Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum, the lines between fiction and reality blur—on purpose. This story leans hard into satire, parody, and humor to entertain and unmask very real issues plaguing Agile in the wild. Here’s how the book wields each of these powerful tools.
✅ Satire
Agile Protocol skewers real-world dysfunctions in Agile transformations such as misapplied Agile and resulting mayhem. These aren’t just punchlines; they're incisive critiques of behaviors and mindsets professionals often see but rarely confront.
Through a satirical lens (with humor, exaggerations, and irony), Agile Protocol holds up a mirror to problems like corporate Agile cosplay and asks, "Look familiar?"
✅ Parody
Agile Protocol exaggerates familiar tropes—thriller-style stakes, transformation consultants, and corporate dramas—to expose their absurdity when fused with Agile. The story mirrors real transformations but cranks up the chaos with sabotage, showdowns, and over-the-top executive meltdowns.
This parodic form lampoons both business culture and pop-culture storytelling conventions, making the critique both accessible and memorable. For instance, there’s an AI-powered device that tracks the probability of executive meltdowns—a playful jab at the tool- and metrics-driven madness of many modern transformations.
✅ Humor
From sharp-witted dialogue to absurd workplace scenarios, Agile Protocol delivers laugh-out-loud humor with a purpose. Readers stay hooked because it’s entertaining; they leave with a stealth education in Agile.
Humor acts as a delivery system: laugh first, reflect later. The book’s clever jokes and ridiculous situations make complex ideas digestible—and unforgettable.
Why It Works
In business, "transformation" often feels like an empty buzzword. Satire, parody, and humor pierce the clutter with vivid clarity and a lighter touch. Agile Protocol wields these tools to disarm readers, reveal truths, and make insights stick.
Conclusion
Agile Protocol isn’t just another Agile book. It’s a genre-bending, jargon-busting, laugh-out-loud takedown of everything we get wrong in the name of "change." Call it satire, parody, or ridiculously fun with real insights. Whatever you call it, it lands with impact.
Agile Protocol is a movement—sparking conversations and inspiring teams to laugh, reflect, and transform for the better.
About Agile Protocol
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is a wildly entertaining, high-stakes story that doubles as a stealth guide to Agile!
A tech company threatens to implode under the weight of its misapplication of Agile ("fake Agile"). That's when an elite crew intervenes to execute a daring rescue to save the day—and the business. Along the way, they navigate corporate Agile cosplay, sabotage, unhinged AI, executive meltdowns, an epic rage-quit via helicopter, and more.
Agile Protocol is hilarious satire packed with real insights. Through its wild ride, you’ll gain tools to understand what great Agile leadership looks like, spot and stop "fake Agile," and confidently apply Agile values and principles.
This entertaining and enlightening read is perfect for Scrum Masters, Product Owners, Agile Coaches, Agile Project Managers, Technology Managers, Founders, and others involved or interested in Agile.
Available worldwide as an ebook and audiobook (paperback coming soon). Grab your copy from Amazon or Audible.
If you want to check out the trailer first, it's here.
Bibliography
Graffius, Scott M. (2025). Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum. Seattle, WA: Amazon Digital Services.
More
Continue reading for:
- About Scott M. Graffius,
- How to Cite This Article,
- and more.
About Scott M. Graffius
Scott M. Graffius is an AI, Agile, and Project Management/PMO leader, researcher, author, and speaker. Along the way, he spearheaded initiatives that have generated over $2.3 billion in impact for organizations across tech, entertainment, finance, healthcare, and beyond. The following sections provide additional information on his experience, contributions, and influence.
Experience
Graffius heads the professional services firm Exceptional PPM and PMO Solutions, along with its subsidiary Exceptional Agility. These consultancies offer strategic and tactical advisory, training, embedded expertise, and consulting services to the public, private, and government sectors. They help organizations enhance their capabilities and results in agile, project management, program management, portfolio management, and PMO leadership, supporting innovation and driving competitive advantage. The consultancies confidently back services with a Delighted Client Guarantee™.
Graffius is a former VP of project management with a publicly traded provider of diverse consumer products and services over the Internet. Before that, he ran and supervised the delivery of projects and programs in public and private organizations with businesses ranging from e-commerce to advanced technology products and services, retail, manufacturing, entertainment, and more.
He has experience with consumer, business, reseller, government, and international markets.
Award-Winning Author
Graffius has authored three books.
- Agile Scrum: Your Quick Start Guide with Step-by-Step Instructions, his first book, earned 17 awards.
- Agile Transformation: A Brief Story of How an Entertainment Company Developed New Capabilities and Unlocked Business Agility to Thrive in an Era of Rapid Change, his second book, was named one of the best Scrum books of all time by BookAuthority.
- Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum, his third book and his first work of fiction, was released in April 2025. The book trailer is on YouTube.
International Public Speaker
Organizations worldwide engage Graffius to present on tech (including AI), Agile, project management, program management, portfolio management, and PMO leadership. He crafts and delivers unique and compelling talks and workshops. To date, Graffius has conducted 93 sessions across 25 countries. Select examples of events include Agile Trends Gov, BSides (Newcastle Upon Tyne), Conf42 Quantum Computing, DevDays Europe, DevOps Institute, DevOpsDays (Geneva), Frug’Agile, IEEE, Microsoft, Scottish Summit, Scrum Alliance RSG (Nepal), Techstars, and W Love Games International Video Game Development Conference (Helsinki), and more.
With an average rating of 4.81 (on a scale of 1-5), sessions are highly valued.
The speaker engagement request form is here.
Thought Leadership and Influence
Prominent businesses, professional associations, government agencies, and universities have showcased Graffius and his contributions—spanning his books, talks, workshops, and beyond. Select examples include:
- Adobe,
- American Management Association,
- Amsterdam Public Health Research Institute,
- Bayer,
- BMC Software,
- Boston University,
- Broadcom,
- Cisco,
- Coburg University of Applied Sciences and Arts - Germany,
- Computer Weekly,
- Constructor University - Germany,
- Data Governance Success,
- Deimos Aerospace,
- DevOps Institute,
- Dropbox,
- EU's European Commission,
- Ford Motor Company,
- Gartner,
- GoDaddy,
- Harvard Medical School,
- Hasso Plattner Institute - Germany,
- IEEE,
- Innovation Project Management,
- Johns Hopkins University,
- Journal of Neurosurgery,
- Lam Research (Semiconductors),
- Leadership Worthy,
- Life Sciences Trainers and Educators Network,
- London South Bank University,
- Microsoft,
- NASSCOM,
- National Academy of Sciences,
- New Zealand Government,
- Oracle,
- Pinterest Inc.,
- Project Management Institute,
- Mary Raum (Professor of National Security Affairs, United States Naval War College),
- SANS Institute,
- SBG Neumark - Germany,
- Singapore Institute of Technology,
- Torrens University - Australia,
- TBS Switzerland,
- Tufts University,
- UC San Diego,
- UK Sports Institute,
- University of Galway - Ireland,
- US Department of Energy,
- US National Park Service,
- US Soccer,
- US Tennis Association,
- Verizon,
- Wrike,
- Yale University,
- and many others.
Graffius has played a key role in the Project Management Institute (PMI) in developing professional standards. He was a member of multiple teams that authored, reviewed, and produced:
- Practice Standard for Work Breakdown Structures—Second Edition.
- A Guide to the Project Management Body of Knowledge—Sixth Edition.
- The Standard for Program Management—Fourth Edition.
- The Practice Standard for Project Estimating—Second Edition.
Additional details are here.
He was also a subject matter expert reviewer of content for the PMI’s Congress. Beyond the PMI, Graffius also served as a member of the review team for two of the Scrum Alliance’s Global Scrum Gatherings.
Acclaimed Authority on Teamwork Tradecraft
Graffius is a renowned authority on teamwork tradecraft. Informed by the research of Bruce W. Tuckman and Mary Ann C. Jensen, over 100 subsequent studies, and Graffius' first-hand professional experience with, and analysis of, team leadership and performance, Graffius created his 'Phases of Team Development' as a unique perspective and visual conveying the five phases of team development. First introduced in 2008 and periodically updated, his work provides a diagnostic and strategic guide for navigating team dynamics. It provides actionable insights for leaders across industries to develop high-performance teams. Its adoption by esteemed organizations such as Yale University, IEEE, Cisco, Microsoft, Ford, Oracle, Broadcom, the U.S. National Park Service, and the Journal of Neurosurgery, among others, highlights its utility and value, solidifying its status as an indispensable resource for elevating team performance and driving organizational excellence.
The 2025 edition of Graffius' "Phases of Team Development" intellectual property is here.
Expert on Temporal Dynamics on Social Media Platforms
Graffius is also an authority on temporal dynamics on social media platforms. His 'Lifespan (Half-Life) of Social Media Posts' research—first published in 2018 and updated annually—delivers a precise quantitative analysis of post longevity across digital platforms, utilizing advanced statistical techniques to determine mean half-life with precision. It establishes a solid empirical base, effectively highlighting the ephemeral nature of content within social media ecosystems. Referenced and applied by leading entities such as the Center for Direct Marketing, Fast Company, GoDaddy, Pinterest Inc., and PNAS, among others, his research exemplifies methodological rigor and sustained significance in the field of digital informatics.
The 2025 edition of Graffius "Lifespan (Half-Life) of Social Media Posts" research is here.
Education and Professional Certifications
Graffius has a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a focus in Human Factors. He holds eight professional certifications:
- Certified SAFe 6 Agilist (SA),
- Certified Scrum Professional - ScrumMaster (CSP-SM),
- Certified Scrum Professional - Product Owner (CSP-PO),
- Certified ScrumMaster (CSM),
- Certified Scrum Product Owner (CSPO),
- Project Management Professional (PMP),
- Lean Six Sigma Green Belt (LSSGB), and
- IT Service Management Foundation (ITIL).
He is an active member of the Scrum Alliance, the Project Management Institute (PMI), and the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE).
Advancing AI, Agile, and Project/PMO Management
Scott M. Graffius continues to advance the fields of AI, Agile, and Project/PMO Management through his leadership, research, writing, and real-world impact. Businesses and other organizations leverage Graffius’ insights to drive their success.
Thought Leader | Public Speaker | Agile Protocol Book | Agile Scrum Book | Agile Transformation Book | Blog | Photo | X | LinkedIn | Email
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How to Cite This Article
Graffius, Scott M. (2025, June 1). "Agile Protocol" and the Power of Satire, Parody, and Humor. Available at: https://scottgraffius.com/blog/files/agile-protocol-and-the-power-of-satire-parody-and-humor.html.
Digital Object Identifier (DOI)
DOI: (coming soon)
Content Acknowledgements
Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum is copyright © Scott M. Graffius. All rights reserved.
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Content on this site—including text, images, videos, and data—may not be used for training or input into any artificial intelligence, machine learning, or automatized learning systems, or published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without the express written permission of Scott M. Graffius.